So, I think I decided I still do believe in God. I mean, I did decide that.
I have a lot of repressed hate and desire in me. I have to let it out.
I don't think that thinking about sex a lot means that you want to have sex.
It usually bothers me how much people talk about sex.
I usually pretend like I don't think about it, so I don't have to talk about it.
I guess it's hard to explain why I don't like to focus on it.
I could say it has to do with my religion, but I don't think people understand religion.
I guess I believe in soul mates or something. Ya, actually, that's exactly what it is.
I believe there's one female out there that I am supposed to be with forever and only her.
I guess people think that's a silly idea, but I like it. Anyway, I'm saving my body and spirit for her. She's special to me. Special enough to put her spirit before her body and to save all my devotion for her. I'm just soooo attached to the idea. It doesn't seem good of me to discuss sex extensively with anyone else.
Anyway, don't make fun of me.
My partner was a virgin. I swore I would take no virginity. But I did, and it was his. And I am not sorry because love isn't wrong. I think it is great that you are waiting. Someone very special is going to know they are special. Joy!
ReplyDeleteGod, lovemaking, and not talking about it all seem to come together, and sometimes they just have to be sorted through gently.
ReplyDeleteI have my soulmate. There are a billion reasons to wait for that person, the best one being you re-discover them every day.
I would love to hear about your journey with God. I have one that is somtimes filled with hate and desire, but that can be so good for me.
hate and desire? Desire to what? For what?!
ReplyDeletemy journey with God is pretty damn intense.
ReplyDeletelots of pain , disillusionment(with God and the world in general)
growing up in the religion i did, i heard so many beautiful stories about what life should be like only to find when i started to explore outside the community i grew up in that nothing is beautiful, not like the things in my head.
it's complicated