I don't care if anyone reads this.
I've said that before, but now is the only time I've meant it.
I can live with no one supporting me. I've learned how to deal with it psychologically.
I just lie to myself and pretend people care. I believe someone cares somewhere.
No one I know, though. I don't like anyone I know.
This girl that I talked about in my second post, I think, she's just so awesome. I keep acting a little strange toward her, but it doesn't affect her. She's so pretty too.
We're really pretty similar in what we like and dislike. We think the same people are strange, well, at least somewhat. She didn't reply to a message I sent her on facebook for like 5 days, but she did after that. I told her I thought it was strange that it took her so long to reply and she said that's how she always is and she asks me to go to a bar with her again like we did before.
She's nice to these people I despise though. These losers who just go oooon and oon, who won't shut the fuck up. Maybe she's a little too nice.
She was talking about her boyfriend for a little bit at the beginning of the night. I think she just says whatever is on her mind to anyone.
I don't know if it's not fair of me to like her so much because I'm pretty sure if I knew another girl who was more suited to me, I would like the more suited one more.
I kind of felt like dying tonight because I'm fairly certain she'll never like me. I'm just too much of a loner. She's nice to people I'd never dream of talking to.
I'm sad. I just wish all the strange people would go away. I just wish she was okay and that she had a better boyfriend than that guy who I know is a compete tool. I'll probably fade away like I should. There was never a place here for me.
It's just too sad. There's no place for the innocent.
I always wonder what your voice sound like because you write just like Stephen Chbosky. I totally wrote to my stalker crush too. He won't respond. I did it on a whim and so poorly. I still can't figure out why I want him except that maybe, I can't have him. I am the suck.
ReplyDeleteAren't you married?
ReplyDeleteMy voice sounds like this: weeeeoooooonoooogooobo
I mean, yeah I'm married but does that honsestly mean that I am no long aloud to have a creey crush? It's not as though my partner has never heard of this guy or know I am a creep about it.
ReplyDeleteEverybody knows I'm a creep about it. His wife REALLY knows I'm a creep about it. But whatever, there are no rules. Also, love, or creepyness (in my case) doesn't just go away because you've found someone else to love, or creep over. It just gets pushed a little to the side. Maybe it goes away eventually? I don't believe that, sorry. Have you read the perks of being a wall flower, btw. One of my all time high school faves. (Of all time.) And a fave. Mock me if you must but I effin love it, still.
Maybe it doesn't go away. I don't have a lot of relationship experience.
ReplyDeleteI did have a crush on a married woman once and told her I was in love with her. I got fired from my job, kind of because of it. She was really flirty with everyone. It was dumb.
Is that a book? I hate books. Feel free to hate me because I hate books. I don't like being exposed to one person's thoughts for a looong period of time, usually. I might look into it, but I'm not sure.
I laughed really loud (much to the dismay to my cube mates) when I read that you lost your job because of it. I don't care if you never read the book. But it it's defence, it's a collection of letters. You might hate it. Maybe you're too old for it. But I remember it fondly. . .
ReplyDelete