Only the things I say

People go through phases, right?

Part of me wants to be like other people and part of me does not.

In my search for people I do want to be like, I have come up empty.

Eventually, it seems to not matter if I want to be like anyone, I just start trying to be like them.

Even if I hate every thing you do, I will eventually try and be like you if you are my only option.

And I think people notice that it's not genuine of me. I also can't sustain it for a very long time.

Eventually, I decide that I want to be like people who are different than you and I try to change you.

When I see that I cannot change you, I try to find people that I actually want to be like and again realize that that search has always left me coming up empty.

It's a strange world for people like me. I often forget who I want to be so I can not be alone for times.

I always wonder why it's so easy to pretend, at least for a little bit.

I'm not complaining. People think I'm complaining sometimes. I'm not complaining. I'm just trying to understand. Also, I am complaining. A little bit.