Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My unending hatred.

I don't know where it comes from.

I hate people for a lot of different reasons.

I hate them if I think they are lazy.

I hate them if I think they are stupid.

That might be it actually.

I've decided the root of any evil is laziness, because it is possible to not desire certain things if you're willing to try.

Maybe I hate people for not being more open minded too.

People who have never considered certain ideas, like religious ideas, and who never will.

Usually the term open minded is used to talk about how religious people should be. More open minded. I think it goes both ways though.

I hate you because you are so different from me.

I wish I didn't.

At the same time I want to keep space between us because I don't know if I want to be like you.

I don't see anything beautiful in your world.

That is honest. It is not hate.

I want the kind of beauty that I believe in to be real.

Carnal loves doesn't seem pretty to me.

Our bodies are not beautiful, because they die.

They fade.

Maybe my mind is broken to believe in things that are not.

Maybe God is not guiding me and I am always stumbling because there is nothing that will hold me up.

Perhaps the first rule is that people do not make sense.

I am trying to make sense out of senselessness.

There is no beauty and I am trying to find beauty.

This is why I suffer. I will suffer. I will suffer a lot.

Only death will stop me.

Only death will end my pain.

4 comments:

  1. I think you need to hang out more with folks around town. You may be spending too much time up late at night. It's depressive, man. GET YE SOME SOL

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  2. Also why didn't you do the Karaoke blog swap. You'd be awesome at it!

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  3. I have to deal with these things.

    It's who I am.

    Really. It is.

    Also, I didn't do the Karaoke thing because they said something about not being good at singing or something and I am good at singing. SO WHY WOULD I DO IT? JUST TO SHOW OFF?

    naw. I ain't wastin' my goods.

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  4. Our bodies are beautiful because they die. They're temporary, they're mortal. In that sense, it's beautiful. From one moment to the next, you will never be as beautiful as you are in that moment, because that moment will never happen again.

    It's good that you question. We all have to question. But there has to be a point where you stop questioning the theory so long as the machinery works (Heinlein).

    Once in awhile, get out of your head, go outside and find something to behold. Religious or not. Atheist or not. That's universal.

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