I think i'm crazy..

I've lost sense of structure. Maybe because i played a video game for 2 days straight. It also seems to be because there's no conflict in my life like there used to be.

I just don't want anything right now.

It's weird to not really want anything.

Maybe it has to do with being honest. I was always trying to get something when I was lying.

Strange thing that made me want to be honest. I watched a movie and just decided that I think people take things too far these days because in the movie there was a threesome of some sort and it was just stupid to me.

It made me not want to lie anymore. The idea of threesomes are just ridiculous to me. Most people are just ridiculous to me.

Why does telling the truth make me not want anything anymore?

I don't know what's going on. i barely see a wreason to type coereclty. That's not true. i want you to know what I'm saying.

I am important to myself in that I am the only one in control of my self.

I am so afraid of being hated., so afraid of losing everyone. i wish i wanted to be alone. it would be easier, for me.

this stuff is so boring..................... so overdone. i don't want to be like everyone else. i don't want to be alone like everyone else. i don't want to need to be loved like everyone else.

i don't care if i'm better than you or worse. i don't want to feel anymore. i don't want to need anymore. correction, i want to feel, BUT NOT THIS. I don't WANT TO NEED YOUR LOVE OR APPROVAL. i don't want to need you because it's so apparent you don't love me. you want to love me, but you don't.

AND I care so much.

i have to let go.

i have to let go of you.

there is no one who is allowed inside me. there is no one allowed inside.

this is dark. strangely dark.

i am changing without a purpose.

perhaps my journey has lead me to realize there is no reason to journey.

all things are hollow.

all reasons, reasonless

i will destroy the pain, i am the pain. i must be destroyed.

there is nothing.

strange shit