I'm Invisible.

It's true.

I disappeared and now I can't see myself.

You probably can't either.

Being all alone is awesome.

When I am alone, there is only me. No one is there who I can feel different from. Everything is okay.

I feel like blowing on people's eyes to make them different.

If I blow on their eyes, they will have to close them and people change when they close their eyes.

I will blow on your eyes until you are like me.

I will be alone and no one will be with me.

It is a good thing.

I am never alone.

I will kiss your eyes to put you to sleep.

Go to sleep.

I will blow on your eyes. sleep.

My unending hatred.

I don't know where it comes from.

I hate people for a lot of different reasons.

I hate them if I think they are lazy.

I hate them if I think they are stupid.

That might be it actually.

I've decided the root of any evil is laziness, because it is possible to not desire certain things if you're willing to try.

Maybe I hate people for not being more open minded too.

People who have never considered certain ideas, like religious ideas, and who never will.

Usually the term open minded is used to talk about how religious people should be. More open minded. I think it goes both ways though.

I hate you because you are so different from me.

I wish I didn't.

At the same time I want to keep space between us because I don't know if I want to be like you.

I don't see anything beautiful in your world.

That is honest. It is not hate.

I want the kind of beauty that I believe in to be real.

Carnal loves doesn't seem pretty to me.

Our bodies are not beautiful, because they die.

They fade.

Maybe my mind is broken to believe in things that are not.

Maybe God is not guiding me and I am always stumbling because there is nothing that will hold me up.

Perhaps the first rule is that people do not make sense.

I am trying to make sense out of senselessness.

There is no beauty and I am trying to find beauty.

This is why I suffer. I will suffer. I will suffer a lot.

Only death will stop me.

Only death will end my pain.

Really Angry.

Something is wrong, very wrong. There's people I've always hated and I've always understood why people hated them, because they were unforgiving, or 'holier than thou'.

I'm not actually sure if I hated them. I just always knew that everyone else did.

I'm turning into something that everyone will hate.

People might lie to me and tell me they don't hate me, but I hate me. I hate me because I hate everyone. I hate people who hate everyone and I hate everyone.

I'm so dedicated to something and it doesn't look pretty to me anymore.

Everything and everyone looks ugly.

Maybe I just need to sleep. Or kill somebody. I want to see blood.

nonononnonononon, maybe. my chosen reality is falling apart.

everyone is falling apart. i'm not that pretty.

you can't love hate and all i am is hate.

something is wrong. something is wrong.

I think i'm crazy..

I've lost sense of structure. Maybe because i played a video game for 2 days straight. It also seems to be because there's no conflict in my life like there used to be.

I just don't want anything right now.

It's weird to not really want anything.

Maybe it has to do with being honest. I was always trying to get something when I was lying.

Strange thing that made me want to be honest. I watched a movie and just decided that I think people take things too far these days because in the movie there was a threesome of some sort and it was just stupid to me.

It made me not want to lie anymore. The idea of threesomes are just ridiculous to me. Most people are just ridiculous to me.

Why does telling the truth make me not want anything anymore?

I don't know what's going on. i barely see a wreason to type coereclty. That's not true. i want you to know what I'm saying.

I am important to myself in that I am the only one in control of my self.

I am so afraid of being hated., so afraid of losing everyone. i wish i wanted to be alone. it would be easier, for me.

this stuff is so boring..................... so overdone. i don't want to be like everyone else. i don't want to be alone like everyone else. i don't want to need to be loved like everyone else.

i don't care if i'm better than you or worse. i don't want to feel anymore. i don't want to need anymore. correction, i want to feel, BUT NOT THIS. I don't WANT TO NEED YOUR LOVE OR APPROVAL. i don't want to need you because it's so apparent you don't love me. you want to love me, but you don't.

AND I care so much.

i have to let go.

i have to let go of you.

there is no one who is allowed inside me. there is no one allowed inside.

this is dark. strangely dark.

i am changing without a purpose.

perhaps my journey has lead me to realize there is no reason to journey.

all things are hollow.

all reasons, reasonless

i will destroy the pain, i am the pain. i must be destroyed.

there is nothing.

strange shit

Telling the Truth isn't easy.

It sometimes is, I mean and then other times, it isn't.

I don't care if a lot of people don't like me, but sometimes it would just seem super mean to be honest with someone.

I can't tell if I lie for my own sake or for theirs.

Then I get into all this shit in my head where I want things from people and all I remember is that I'm trying not to lie and I forget that I probably should try to not be selfish either.

I should try not to want things from other people that I shouldn't want. That's hard to remember, because I want so many things.

I'm just working on not lying at the moment. I'm working on not lying to get people to like me more. Maybe I'll have to work on something else later.

life is complex and amazing. everything is beautiful. no more lies to cage me.

i will be free someday.